My brother was once tied in a punt-pass & kick competition in Houston, Texas. It came down to the kick. If he kicked the ball farthest off the tee he would be the winner. Just before he approached the football, my father came to his side and said, “Whatever you do son, don’t shank it.” You know how this story ends.
I’m writing this today because my 25-year old son Jeremy has started a new job. Not remarkable in itself, but a grand lesson in how life can turn your way in an instant when the fates align.
Jeremy has Williams Syndrome which causes some cognitive difficulties, but at the same time imbues him with some splendid qualities and enormous talent. All of his life, teachers, principals, school administrators, and even special education experts have been telling him not to shank it. His mom and I have to confess we’ve been guilty of it sometimes too.
Fortunately, Jeremy didn’t pay a whole lot of attention and as he has grown so has his confidence in being himself. He has also been greatly helped by Zeno Mountain Farm, an innovative camp that emphasizes what people with disabilities can do, not what they can’t do. (Zeno is an outgrowth of Camp Jabberwocky where he first attended).
Jeremy has trouble tying his shoes. He can’t handle money very well and could never work as a cashier. When he shaves looking in the mirror is a major challenge because of his trouble with visual and spatial aspects. His hand writing is barely legible.
Those are some of his deficits, his strengths are awesome. He has an enormous heart, is always ready with a smile and to ask how you are or to tell you to say hello to someone you both know. He’s even been known to ask you to say hello to someone he doesn’t know like one of your co-workers or someone famous.
He is also a gifted drummer, plays piano by ear and is a natural born entertainer. The camera loves him, he was a star in the MTV program “How’s Your News?”
The Washington Post’s TV critic Tom Shales wrote that he is “a born performer with an ebullient and guileless smile.”
Our friend Jim Moore, the author, had this observation, “He was in love with specific things that lit up his mind and he refused to surrender them because they made him happy. Nothing was mundane to Jeremy and everything he loved appears to love him back, endlessly.”
Jeremy hasn’t always enjoyed such positive support, especially from the Montgomery County school system. He was a special education student and most of the educators he encountered totally focused on his deficits. Every day he was told not to shank it. Even by his music teachers despite his natural gifts.
One special education teacher decided to cure him of bad hand writing by strapping a pencil to his hand with a rubber band, a spectacular lack of insight or imagination overlooking his brilliance as a drummer. There were even music teachers along the way who didn’t let him play drums because they were worried he would embarrass them.
So how did he become one of the main hosts at “44” a new restaurant in the Kentlands of Gaithersburg, MD?
When MTV cancelled “How’s Your News?” we looked for agents and talked to our friends in television production to help him pursue a career in entertainment.
What we kept hearing was, “we love the kid but don’t know where he fits in.” Meantime, Jeremy spent most of his days walking around the downtown area of our community meeting and greeting store and restaurant owners. He had already met hundreds of people who live here.
Jeremy has been training for this job his whole life. For years when we were eating out we felt we had to restrain him from walking around the restaurant saying hello and talking to people and checking in on the chefs. He usually ignored us.
We were about to find him a job in a mail-room, or maybe as a greeter at a big box store when “44” advertised for help. He applied and was an instant hit. New owners Lanie Nikes and Tony Massenburg, a former basketball player for the University of MD and San Antonio Spurs (his number was 44), want their business to be connected with the community. Jeremy is uniquely qualified to achieve that goal.
For Jeremy, he can be himself, help out a new business and earn an income. So the next time you encounter someone with a disability, especially if you’re an educator or an employer, don’t focus on what they can’t do. Find that spark of talent that makes them unique. It has value for you, and it allows them to be who they are.
* The title of this blog was taken from a book written by Dan Jenkins, one of my favorite authors. I hope he doesn’t mind that I have used it here. I have no idea how to reach him other than looking for him at a TCU home football game and I don’t have the air fare. Sorry Dan it just seems to fit
